Beautiful things

 

Some people think beautiful things may only come in packages. But really, all you have to do is open your eyes and have a look around.

I am finally walking like a normal human being again. Well, at least my version of normal. So I started my daily walk yesterday . . . hopefully I will keep the tradition, again, today. It rained yesterday, off and on, through a better part of the day. Nothing torrential, but enough misting and chill to make a walk lose its usual appeal. But at 5:30, there seemed to be a brief lightening of the sky, and I took it as a sign, "Get your butt out there!" So I grabbed the camera and off I went.

Twin Brooks Park was today's destination, as it is just a 5 minute drive from home and I figured if I'm going to get rained on, I at least, won't have a long drive home in sopping clothes. I wasn't on the path more than a few minutes when the clouds started spitting. Not enough to stop me, I rolled my eyes, screwed my determination tighter and kept walking, keeping my eyes peeled for something beautiful or interesting to shoot. Although I rather had my doubts about the availability of such a shot on such a gray, chilly, cloud-spitting day.

I was wrong.

I quickly found out how beautiful a gray day can be. A misty rain can often wrap a lovely misty veil around your subject, producing a haunting quality to the photo, that instead of repelling, will actually suck you into the picture. I was amazed at the colors, too. What I thought would be washed out and grey, actually looked rich and condensed. And I alternated walking and shooting for two hours, taking over 70 shots.

I watched the die-hard exercisers, walking, running and cycling. A father brought his kids to fish. There were numerous dogs with their owners. I saw a raccoon dart across a path, a bunny on a trail and a mother duck with her ducklings. I saw swallows flying over the wildflowers, and I watched the geese nestle in the grasses beside a pond to nap.

The woods held an unusual appeal because of their darkness. That big, bad wolf kind of appeal. But the sound of the waterfall I knew was in there was too enticing to pass up and I was intrigued to see if I could take a shot of running water in low light without using a tripod. OK, so I ended up using a rock, because it was so dark I just couldn't hold the camera still enough to get a clear shot. But I got the shot. What I think is a beautiful shot.

And if no one else thinks it is beautiful . . . so what! The important thing is I saw what I thought was beautiful, as I turned off the path, dodged the saplings, half-slid, half-fell down the slope to the stream, and draped myself over wormy compost and a lichen-covered rock and held my breath, to capture. And that is a beautiful thing!

Just weight

Pictures definitely do not always reflect the image of the mind. More to the point: I am horrified by the way I look in pictures. It isn't the image I have of myself in my mind. It isn't how I feel. But there it is, I'm an apple with legs. Don't get me wrong. I like apples. I just don't want to be one.

The only thin times in my adult life were gotten with perpetual hunger. When I am thin, I think about food constantly, even when I'm admiring my svelte form in the mirror: which I will do quite often because, quite frankly, I don't get to see myself in that form very often, and honestly, I like the way I look when I am thin.

Part of the problem, is working at home. It's just you and the refrigerator. And when the refrigerator is your company, eating isn't far behind. I also eat when I'm stressed and not having any freelance jobs at the moment is a great source of stress. I am a stress eater. I also like to eat when I'm happy. I don't want to eat when I am depressed or angry, though. So I suppose since I'm eating right now I'm in a pretty good emotional place . . . until I look at my pictures. And although I am horrified, I won't get angry or depressed about that. No, better than that, I'm hatching a plan.

I'm going to walk. Yes I know I've said that before. And I have a few times started a walking regimen and stopped out of boredom. NEW PLAN: Do something while you're walking. So I will now be bringing a sketch pad and pencils, and my camera to keep me company. I need to add to my photo albums and do more paintings anyway. And plein air sketching and painting will be something new for me to do. Perhaps once a week I can take a canvas and paints with me. This is exciting. I can't wait. My sneakers are ready to go. Just one small problem. My back went out on Friday night and I've had an intimate knowledge of the hair bunnies on my floors since then.

Oh well . . . there's always tomorrow to start walking. At least today, it's a little harder to get to the refrigerator.

The Newest Thing

For everything we do, there should be a reason behind it. Today I went with my Mother to see Julie and Julia at the movies. In the movie, the character of Julie decides to cook her way through Julia Child's cookbook and write a blog about it. Hmmmm, a blog. Now there's something I've never done, although I like to write, and as it has been pointed out to me on several occasions by a variety of people, I can and will give my opinions quite freely.

So today, my new thing is starting a blog. A blog about how to go about being over 50 and staying happy with the life I have chosen. Hopefully I've gotten the settings right and these words will be seen by someone out there. But even if no one else sees them, it's OK, because I still would have done something new today. That is an accomplishment in itself.

And if I've done it wrong, that's OK too. Nothing in the universe says I can't do it all over again tomorrow. I will always find comfort in that thought. It helps to keep me brave.